LearnaBytes

INTRODUCTION

‘SHUSH’ is an acronym used by volunteers at the listening charity, Samaritans, to remind themselves of the key qualities involved in listening to people they support on the phone properly. The Samaritans are well known for their great listening abilities and understanding ‘SHUSH’ can help us learn from what they do really well. The aim of this training activity is for the participants to be able to practice using ‘SHUSH’ in small groups. Two previous activities would have helped the participants understand what ‘SHUSH’ is (access that activity here) and see what ‘SHUSH’ looks like in practice (access that activity here).

LEARNING OBJECTIVE

After going through this activity participants would have experienced how to use ‘SHUSH’ skills in practice.

THE ACTIVITY

How can you listen effectively with ‘SHUSH’?

Tell them that:

• We’ve explored the effective listening skills defined by the ‘SHUSH’ acronym.
• We have seen how to use some of the ‘SHUSH’ skills.
• Now, it’s time for you to have a go at practicing the ‘SHUSH’ skills in small groups.

Direct them to the part of their workbooks titled – TIME FOR YOU TO LISTEN THE ‘SHUSH’ WAY.

Give them 5-minutes to read the information there and after they have finished reading, check that they understand what to do. If necessary, explain what they need to do again so they understand.

Put them into small groups of threes using the ‘breakout’ rooms feature.

Give them 30-minutes to do the practice activity.

During the practice time, join each breakout room to see how they are doing. Give them guidance and encouragement if necessary to make sure they do the practice.

When the time is up, stop them and bring everyone back to the main room. To review the practice activity, ask them these questions:

• How did the practice session go? (You should get an answer from at least one person in each group)
• What lessons did you learn from the practice? (You should get an answer from at least one person in each group)
• Ask them for any other comments they want to make about the practice session and listen to them.

After that, thank them for doing the activity.

This is the end of the activity.

INTRODUCTION

‘SHUSH’ is an acronym used by volunteers at the listening charity, Samaritans, to remind themselves of the key qualities involved in listening to people they support on the phone properly. The Samaritans are well known for their great listening abilities and understanding ‘SHUSH’ can help us learn from what they do really well. The aim of this training activity is for the participants to be able to identify what ‘SHUSH’ looks like in practice. A previous activity would have helped the participants understand what ‘SHUSH’ is. You can access that activity here.

LEARNING OBJECTIVE

After going through this activity, participants will be able to identify how to use ‘SHUSH’ for effective listening.

THE ACTIVITY

WHAT DOES ‘SHUSH’ LISTENING LOOK LIKE?

The aim of this section is to help the participants see what ‘SHUSH’ listening looks like in practice. To do this, the participants will take part in two demonstrations. You (the facilitator) will be the listener in both demonstrations. The first one will demonstrate poor listening and the second demonstration will show better listening using some of the ‘SHUSH’ behaviours. You will need a volunteer from the group to be the speaker you listen to in both conversations.

Tell them that:

• Now that we know what ‘SHUSH’ listening is, let’s see what it looks like in practice.
• We are going to do two demonstrations that show what is or isn’t ‘SHUSH’ listening.
• Please, we need a volunteer to play the role of the person speaking in both demonstrations while I play the role of the listener.

Ask for a volunteer and thank the person who volunteers. Then direct everyone to the part of their workbooks titled – ‘SHUSH’ IN PRACTICE.

Display all the information needed for the demonstrations on the screen and go through it with them. Show them all the parts of the workbook that will be used for the demonstrations which include,

• First conversation
• Space for observer’s notes – first conversation
• Second conversation
• Space for observer’s notes – second conversation

After that, clarify that they understand what is going to happen. Then move on to do the first demonstration.

While doing it, tell everyone except you and the volunteer to put off their cameras. This will make the volunteer feel more comfortable as they won’t see anyone looking at them.

Both of you should then go through the script for the first conversation.

After you finish the demonstration, they should put their cameras back on.

Ask the observers for feedback. What you want them to tell you is how Helen used or did not use ‘SHUSH’ skills.

After listening to the observers, ask the volunteer whether they agree with the observers and listen to the volunteer’s views too.

When you finish, move on to have the second conversation and do exactly what you did for the first conversation.

After the second conversation, ask for feedback in the same way that you did for the first conversation. This time they should identify that Helen used some of the ‘SHUSH’ skills. Below are some of the ‘SHUSH’ skills that Helen used which they should have identified (Depending on their feedback you may decide to share this information with them).

• Show you care (noticing Jermaine’s body language and asking him a question, taking Jermaine to her office for a conversation, giving Jermaine her attention)
• Have patience (using pauses and silence, not interrupting, not giving up after he said, ‘he’s fine’)
• Using open (and other types of) questions (Helen used a combination of open, closed and reflective questions. The reflective questions reflected what Jermaine said):
  • What’s wrong with your daughter? – open question
  • Is there any way I can help or support you with this? – can be either an open or closed question depending on how Jermaine responds.
  • So, taking some time off may help you? – reflective question
  • Oh, Angie’s struggling with it too and she’s handling it even worse than you are?’ – reflective question.
  • Do you want me to book some time off for you now? – closed question?
  • Is there any other way I can help? – can be either an open or closed question depending on how Jermaine responds.
• Say it back (Helen used reflective questions to say back what Jermaine told her. She also used phrases like, ‘your daughter’ and ‘that must be hard for you’ to reflect back feelings and what she heard Jermaine say’)
• Have courage (Helen demonstrated courage by not letting go of her concerns and having the conversation with Jermaine. Phrases like ‘that must be hard for you’ showed she was willing to connect with how Jermaine was feeling)

After that, ask them for any comments and/or questions they have. Listen to them and respond if necessary.

Thank them again for their participation in the activity and end the session.

This is the end of the session.

In a previous post the delegates observed a demonstration of listening skills, now it is their turn to practice what they have learnt about listening during the session in small groups.

FACILITATION

• Display the slide titled – PRACTICE SESSION.

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SLIDE – PRACTICE SESSION

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• Let them know that it’s now their time to practice.
• The information they need for the practice session is in the part of their workbooks titled – PRACTICE SESSION.
• They must all read it before they start the session because it contains the scenarios they will be practising with.

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WORKBOOK CONTENT – PRACTICE SESSION

For this practice session, each person in the small group will rotate through the roles of speaker, listener and observer. Everyone in the group should choose one of the scenarios below that they are going to speak on. Each person will then speak for on their chosen scenario while the listener they are speaking to demonstrates effective listening skills. Each conversation should last for a maximum of 5-minutes. The observer during each conversation should note down their observations based on the checklist on the next page. After each conversation the observer should tell the listener only what they did well. The listener may also contribute to the positive feedback. Feedback sessions after each conversation should not take more than 5-minutes.

You will have 30-minutes for the practice session.

Scenario 1 – Why I’ve been late to work this week

I’m really sorry for coming late throughout this week. It’s been really tough for me at home. I’m having a break down in my relationship and I have been left alone to take care of my children. I have to get the three of them to school in the morning before coming to work. I don’t drive and that makes it really difficult for me. I’m really sorry. I should have told you about this earlier but I just didn’t know how to.

Scenario 2 – I forgot to schedule the meeting

I don’t know if we will still be able to have the meeting next week or if the notice is too short. You told me to arrange the meeting last month and I did put it in my calendar and prepare the agenda but I did not send out an invitation to those who should attend. I honestly thought I did but I obviously did not. I am really sorry about this and I don’t know whether I should still schedule the meeting for next week or choose another date.

Scenario 3 – Good news, we got the order

I’ve got some good news for you. Remember the presentation we went to deliver last month to that big company, the one with 5000 employees? Well, we got the order. They have agreed to pay for 1000 licenses. That is our biggest client yet. I’m really excited. Thank you very much for your part in the presentation I think the stories you told that illustrated the benefits of using our software really helped convince the client to sign on. Thank you.

Below is the observation checklist

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• Read out the information on the slide then set them up into small groups for the practice session. Reemphasize that they must read the information in their workbooks.
• Give them 30-minutes for the practice session.
• Join each room to clarify that they know what to do and where necessary explain again.
• When they have 5-minutes more send them a message to let them know.
• Once the 30-minutes period is up, stop them and bring everyone back to the main room.
• You will ask them for feedback but don’t ask any specific person.
• To ask for feedback ask them these questions:
  • During your practice what do you think you did well?
  • If you did the practice session again what will you do differently?
  • What is your main takeaway lesson from the practice session?
• Allow the feedback discussion to go on for up to 15-minutes.
• After that thank them for taking part in the practice session and giving the feedback.

The next post will conclude the training session and all the training resources including the facilitation guide, workbook and presentation will be made available for you to download.

In a previous post we explored five skills for effective listening, this post focuses on a demonstration session where the facilitator will act as the listener while the delegates observe the demonstration.

FACILITATION

• Tell the participants that:
  • We’ve spent time discussing what effective listening is, barriers to effective listening and effective listening skills.
  • Now we are going to have some practical sessions starting with me doing a demonstration which you will observe and give feedback on.
  • After the demonstration you will have opportunity to practice listening skills in small groups.
• Display the slide titled – DEMONSTRATION SESSION.

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SLIDE – DEMONSTRATION SESSION

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• Read out the information on the slide and let them read the information in their workbooks titled – DEMONSTRATION SESSION.

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WORKBOOK CONTENT – DEMONSTRATION SESSION

During this demonstration session, the facilitator will act as the listener while a volunteer from the group will act as the speaker. The speaker will talk to the listener about an experience they had, positive or negative. It could be a holiday, food they ate, a movie they watched or anything else as far as it describes a negative or positive experience. The conversation will last for no more than 5-minutes but during the conversation the listener should be demonstrating effective listening skills.

Your task

You should observe the listener using the criteria in the checklist below and note down which of these skills the listener demonstrated well. The virtual environment may make it difficult to observe certain skills, don’t worry about that.

• After they have read the information, ask for a volunteer (if possible, arrange for the volunteer beforehand).
• Also ask for someone to time the session and stop you after exactly 5-minutes.
• Then do the demonstration session with the volunteer.
• After the demonstration ask them for feedback based on their observation criteria. Don’t take more than 5-minutes for the feedback session.
• Next move on to set them up for the practice session.

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WORKBOOK CONTENT – EFFECTIVE LISTENING CHECKLIST FOR OBSERVATION

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The next post will focus on the delegates having their own practice session to demonstrate listening skills in small groups.

In a previous post, we discussed possible barriers to listening effectively for managers. This post will look at five skills managers can demonstrate to listen effectively.

FACILITATION

• Display the slide titled – HOW DO WE LISTEN EFFECTIVELY?

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• Read out the information on the slide and use it to set them up for a group activity.
• Use the ‘breakout rooms’ function to split them into small groups.
• The activity each group will work on is in the part of their workbooks titled – HOW DO WE LISTEN EFFECTIVELY?
• Give them 10-minutes to do the activity.

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WORKBOOK CONTENT – HOW DO WE LISTEN EFFECTIVELY?

We already know that listening is very important but at the same time there are some barriers that can prevent us from being effective listeners, so what actions can we take to listen effectively.

In your group discuss how managers can listen effectively.

What skills or behaviours should they demonstrate to be effective listeners?

Note down your answers and be ready to share them with the whole group after the discussion.

Please choose a spokesperson who will feedback your answers.

Remember, you have 10-minutes for the discussion.

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• When the 10-minutes is up, stop them and bring everyone back to the main room.
• Thank them for doing the activity and then allow each small group to give their feedback. Listen to them quietly.
• After they finish, appreciate them for the feedback then tell them that:
  • We can categorise the listening techniques you’ve talked about under five broad techniques.
• Display the slide titled – EFFECTIVE LISTENING TECHNIQUES.

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SLIDE – EFFECTIVE LISTENING TECHNIQUES

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• Click on the slide to display the first skill – Non-verbal Behaviour.
• Tell them that:
  • Non-verbal behaviour is a very important listening skill.
  • It is the behaviour you demonstrate to show that you are listening to people without saying anything.
  • This includes giving people appropriate eye contact while they are talking.
  • Encouraging the person to speak with your body language such as your facial expressions which should be congruent to the nature of the conversation. For example putting on a light smile when the conversation is less serious but looking more sombre when the conversation is serious.
  • Nodding occasionally to show you are listening and maintaining an open and interested body posture.
• Click on the slide again to display the second skill – Attention. Tell them that:
  • Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message. Non-verbal behaviour will help you to pay attention.
  • You can do things such as, look at the speaker directly, put aside distracting thoughts, prevent yourself from mentally preparing a response, find ways not to be distracted by environmental factors such as side conversations and be aware of the speakers body language, what is it telling you?
• Click on the slide to display the third skill which is – Reflect and Clarify.
  • Reflecting is closely repeating or paraphrasing what the speaker has said in order to show comprehension.  Reflection is a powerful skill that can reinforce the message of the speaker and demonstrate understanding.
  • Reflect on what has been said by paraphrasing saying things such as. “What I’m hearing is… ,” and “Sounds like you are saying… ,” are great ways to reflect back.
  • Clarifying involves asking questions of the speaker to ensure that the correct message has been received.  Clarification usually involves the use of open questions which enables the speaker to expand on certain points as necessary. Also, ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say… .” “Is this what you mean?”
• Click on the slide again to display the fourth skill – Summarising. Tell them that:
  • Summarise the speaker’s comments periodically. Repeating a summary of what has been said back to the speaker is a technique used by the listener to repeat what has been said in their own words. Summarising involves taking the main points of the received message and reiterating them in a logical and clear way, giving the speaker a chance to correct  you, if necessary.
• Click the slide for a final time to display the last skill which is – Non-judgemental, respond appropriately. Tell them that:
  • Effective listening requires you go into the conversation with a non-judgemental attitude.
  • You will have to stop yourself intentionally from making judgements about the person or what they are saying.
  • Your aim is to listen to the facts. Don’t interrupt because this is a waste of time and it frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.
  • Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions. Don’t interrupt with counter arguments.
  • Effective listening should encourage respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective from what the speaker is saying. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting her down.
  • When you respond, be candid, open and honest in your response and present your opinions in a respectful manner.
  • Treat the other person in a way that you think they would want to be treated.
• After that, ask them for any comments or questions about what you just told them. Listen to any questions and comments they have and respond appropriately (if necessary).
• Tell them that there is a conversation in their workbooks titled – THE BIG RED BRUISE. Give them about 5-minutes to read it. They should look out for instances of effective listening.

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WORKBOOK CONTENT – THE BIG RED BRUISE

Obi manages a team of six people, today she is meeting with one of her team leaders, Ola, to discuss an issue that recently happened.

Obi: Hello Ola, how are you? (he is sitting diagonally from Ola and looking directly at her)

Ola: I’m fine, thank you. What about you?

Obi: I am okay too, thank you. I want to talk to you about the safeguarding issue that you phoned me about yesterday. Please, can you tell me what happened? (Obi is looking quite sombre because this is a serious issue).

Ola: I went to say good morning to Dilly in his room around 9.30am. I knocked the door and he let me in. I noticed that he was holding his left arm. When I asked what was wrong, he showed me a big red bruise and I asked him about what happened.

Obi: (Obi is was looking at Ola directly, nodding her head with the occasional ‘uh hmm’ sound and looking serious).

Ola: He said that he fell down while running three days ago and bruised his arm.

Obi: If you please stop for a minute. Let me make sure I understand. You went into Obi’s room around 9.30am yesterday. Is that right?

Ola: Yes.

Obi: And you noticed him holding his arm. You asked him what was wrong and he showed you a red bruise.

Ola: Yes, that is correct.

Obi: And when you asked him what was wrong, he said he fell down three days ago while running and bruised his arm.

Ola: Exactly, that’s what he said.

Obi: Thank you, what else did he tell you?

Ola: He told me that Sophia, saw the bruise but he told Sophia that it is okay and not to worry about it.

Obi: So, Dilly told Sophia about the bruise but told her not to worry about it?

Ola: Yes, that’s what Dilly said.

Obi: And did Sophia record this anywhere or tell you or anyone else about it?

Ola: I have not seen any records of it and she didn’t tell me either. I also don’t know if she told anyone. That’s why I called to speak to you about it.

Obi: Please, let me get this right. You are not aware that Sophia recorded it anywhere or tell anyone about it. She also did not tell you about the issue.

Ola: No, she didn’t.

Obi: Thanks Ola, let me investigate this further. I will speak to you again.

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• After the 5-minutes is up, ask them for instances of effective listening that they picked up from the conversation. Listen to them for 5-minutes.
• They should have picked up skills such as eye contact, a congruent expression, clarifying, summarising, reflecting and asking questions.
• At this point in the session you shiould stop for a 10-15-minutes break.

In the next post we will see the delegates observing a demonstration of effective listening skills.

In a previous post as part of the session on Effective Listening, we explored what effective listening is and why it’s important to managers. This activity will focus on identifying possible barriers to effective listening.

FACILITATION

• Tell them that:
  • We know effective listening is good for us as managers but there are barriers that may prevent us from being able to listen effectively.
  • Let’s explore some of those barriers.
  • I want you to think about what barriers may prevent you from listening effectively to your team members and write them in the chat window.
  • Let’s take 3-minutes to do this.
• Allow 3-minutes for them to write their answers in the chat window and as they do so read through them quietly for the duration.
• When the 3-minutes is up, stop them and get everyone’s attention.
• Read out their answers so they can hear. Acknowledge each person as you read their answer.
• After reading, thank them for their answers and let them know you also have some barriers to share with them.
• Display the slide titled – BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING.

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SLIDE – BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING

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• When the slide displays, it will be blank without any content.
• Click once on the slide to display information for the ‘Mental/Psychological’ barriers.
• Tell them that:
  • Listening barriers can be classified into three groups.
  • This first one is ‘Mental/Psychological’ barriers. These group of barriers refer to barriers which exist in our head. They have to do with our thinking processes.
  • One of them is when people are busy planning their response to the person speaking instead of concentrating on understanding what the person is saying.
  • We think at a rate much faster than we speak, so we can get into the trap of thinking ahead to how we are going to respond while the other person is speaking.
  • Not only do we not listen to understand what the person is saying but we also formulate inappropriate responses because we did not accurately understand what the person said.
  • Another of these barriers is when our thoughts are elsewhere. We are thinking about something else while the person is speaking.
  • Some people may also have a closed mind. They are not open to other ideas and no matter what people say they have already made up their mind not to listen because they have their own fixed assumptions.
  • Some people may also approach conversations with prejudice about the speaker, which leads them to make prior judgements and then erroneous presumptions.
  • We need to be aware of how we think and what is going on in our head when we communicate with people unless our thought processes can become major barriers to our ability to listen effectively.
• Click the slide again to display – ‘Environmental’ Tell them that:
  • These are external barriers that come from things we can see.
  • They include things such as, trying to have a conversation with more than one person at a time. You are not likely to concentrate on any one person if you do this and you obviously won’t listen effectively.
  • Doing something else while trying to listen to what someone is saying, such as glancing at your computer or phone will prevent you from understanding what someone is saying. This is not just a listening issue; it is also a sign of disrespect because you are not giving eye contact to the person speaking to you.
  • Background noise can also distract us from listening well.
  • We may also fixate on how a person speaks such as their accent or their use of grammar. This can become a barrier that prevents us from listening to the person.
• Click on the slide for a final time to display ‘Personal’ Tell them that:
  • These set of barriers come from us. They are the barriers we personally create and they may also be linked to how we think.
  • They include things such as our view of the speaker. If we have unrealistic or negative views about the speaker, we may not be willing to listen to them.
  • Also, we may lack interest in what the person is saying and not even give them our focus.
  • Sometimes our physical or mental health may also affect our ability to listen. For example, if we are tired or unwell, listening may be a challenge for us.
  • When we have a lot on our minds, we may not listen to what is being said as we’re too busy concentrating on what we’re thinking about. This is particularly true when we feel stressed or worried about issues.
  • Finally, non-verbal behaviour, such as lack of eye contact with the speaker, inappropriate posture – slouched, leaning back or ‘swinging’ on a chair, leaning forward onto a desk or table and/or a constantly shifting posture can be a barrier that prevents us from really listening to a person.
• After you’ve finished telling them about the barriers, ask if they have any questions and/or comments about what you’ve just told them.
• If they do, listen to their comments and questions. If you need to respond, do so appropriately.
• Also tell them that there is information about these barriers in the part of their workbooks titled – BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING.

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WORKBOOK CONTENT – BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE LISTENING

Mental / Psychological

These are barriers in your head.

• Planning your response: When you are busy planning how to respond to the person instead of trying to really understand what she is saying.
• Thoughts elsewhere: You are preoccupied thinking about something else (what am I going to have for lunch?)
• Closed mind: we all have ideals and values that we believe to be correct which can make it difficult to listen to the views of others that contradict our own opinions. The key to effective listening and interpersonal skills more generally is the ability to have a truly open mind – to understand why others think about things differently to you and use this information to gain a better understanding of the speaker.
• Prejudice, judgements, and presumptions: You have already made up views about the person which you use to judge them and make presumptions. Everything the person says is coloured by the prejudice you have about the person. This causes you to judge them and make presumptions. You clearly won’t listen to the speaker in such instances.

 Environmental barriers

These are external barriers which can affect listening.

• Multiple conversations: Having more than one conversation at the same time. For instance, talking on the phone and trying to listen to someone else or trying to talk to two team members at the same time.
• Computer/Phone: Glancing at your computer or phone while trying to listen to somebody without giving them any eye contact or physical attention.
• Noise: There may be background noise which affects your ability to listen to someone.
• Language: Whether a person is fluent in the language we are communicating with or has an accent may also be a barrier.

Personal barriers

These are barriers that we have personally.

• View of speaker: Your view of the speaker may affect how well you listen to them. You may be prepared to show more interest to someone you have a positive view of than a team member you view negatively.
• Lack of interest: You are not interested in the topic. You become bored.
• Not focusing: Not focusing and being easily distracted, fiddling with your hair, fingers, a pen. Or gazing out of the window or focusing on objects other than the speaker.
• Tired or unwell: Feeling unwell or tired, hungry, thirsty or needing to use the toilet.
• Preoccupied: when we have a lot on our minds, we can fail to listen to what is being said as we’re too busy concentrating on what we’re thinking about. This is particularly true when we feel stressed or worried about issues.
• Non-verbal behaviour: Such as Lack of eye contact with the speaker – listeners who are engaged with the speaker tend to give eye contact.  Lack of eye contact can, however, also be a sign of shyness. Or an inappropriate posture – slouched, leaning back or ‘swinging’ on a chair, leaning forward onto a desk or table and/or a constantly shifting posture.   People who are paying attention tend to lean slightly towards the speaker.

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• Next move on to discuss how managers can listen effectively.

In the next post we will explore five basic skills that can help managers listen more effectively.